Sen - Heng [Betwixt and be Twistered]

Heng actually rolled his eyes, even though he couldn't see Sen's flipping the bird. That was a lot of energy he channeled into rolling his eyes, so you know it was a serious eye rolling.

"Th-that doesn't even make sense," Heng said through still firmly clenched teeth. He pushed himself more upright against the wall, making a face as his back scraped against it. His arms trembled as well now, and he guessed that his legs would be next. The bleeding seems to have stopped, at least. It's something.

Heng had expected this reaction from Sen. This infamous, er.. womanizer (honestly though Heng wouldn't really call him that, since he's never seen Sen successful in his courting ventures), of course he would be adverse to the idea of hugging. However, this wasn't hugging, it was surviving. And Heng wasn't adverse to the idea of sharing body warmth to not die. And fade into the void. The void sounded peaceful.. Heng breeathed out coarsely, glaring at Sen.

"I think I h-have a fever, if that helps with y-your concerns for warmth," he said, voice strained. He could feel himself slowing down. Hypothermia was a very fast downwards slope. Did he just try to say something sarcastic? Who knows. He's probably just delirious.

"I...." he closed his eyes, taking a determined breath, pushing it out through his nose and watching the fog rise and vanish. "I want to live," he said, as strongly as he could manage. There was a tremble in his voice and he didn't know if it added or detracted from the effect.

"What's more impor-important is that y-you want to live, d-don't you Sen?" he held his gaze at the man still perched on the steps, shivering in the darkness, hair plastered to his face and neck, nail digging into his arms as he crossed them firmly against his chest. Heng wasn't really a strategist, but sometimes he pulled through.

Heng waited patiently for Sen to come to terms with the fact that yes, he had to initiate physical contact with him. For a moment, when Sen just hovered beside him, Heng truly feared that Sen would refuse. That he'd say something spiteful then turn tail.

He sighed quietly when Sen begrudgingly moved next to him. At first, all he could feel was more uncomfortable cold, wetness, but soon enough his arms stopped trembling, and his chest stilled as well. His breaths stopped shaking, and he could focus on the sound of the howling wind again. Rattle a tattle. He closed his eyes.

This was familiar. Like he was a child, with one of his brothers by his side. Or maybe when he was older, and he and his men had to huddle. He thought of this earlier didn't he? It was still hard to keep track of his thoughts. Instinctively, Heng moved his arm, draping it around Sen, bringing him closer. Maybe they will survive after all.

"The e-events that have thus transpired shall er, never leave this.. basement?" he said in response to Sen's hiss of a demand. It was a small favour in exchange for warmth. Besides, it wasn't like Heng was prone to sharing the details of his reap orders anyways. Nor was it like he had anyone to share it with really. After that he remained quiet for a while, one hand on his lap, legs drawn up as much as they could be without making his wound worse. His hair was drying, though he felt that with the manner at which they dried, he should expect a cold in the coming days. There, that was some nice optimism. Haha.

Sen soon stopped trembling as well, the sound of his breathing slowing (but not in the alarming way).

Sen was like a cat, Heng decided through the haze in his mind. A cat, like the one in his village. Free spirited and vagabond, knowing no master yet going to each house mewing for food. Well, not mewing. It wasn't that vocal. It was like a king of the muddy roads, ruler of the fences, and spry troublemaker to the dogs. It'd spend a few days in Heng's house, lazily watching over him and his brothers clashing stick like swords, or sleeping on the window sill in the kitchen, tail absently batting away insects.

A young Heng always wished to possess that cat, a child wanting a pet. The cat's loyalty of course, was temporary. Episodic. Maybe if Heng had food. It always liked his brothers more. A small smile slipped onto Heng's lips. He had forgotten about that cat, long ago.

He couldn't remember if he hated that cat for always leaving, or loved it for always coming back. Did the cat miss him when he left? Probably not. The cat likely didn't even realize that he was gone. Did the cat know when he died? Perhaps. Animals knew a lot of things humans don't.

"Sen," he whispered, eyes still closed, "why do you hate me?"

These types of questions Heng never asks. It wasn't his place to know. It was just his place to accept. It wasn't even a question Heng particularly felt the need to ask. He wasn't close enough with Sen for Sen's dislike of him to bother him. But he felt like talking, for some reason, and he felt like he wanted questions answered. Any questions.

Heng only realized that he had put his arm around Sen when Sen pulled back. He still stayed, though. Yep, definitely a cat. Heng was never going to tell Sen that he reminded him of cats. He could already picture his lips curl in disgust. It'd be better to not give Sen more reasons to dislike him.

Oh, Sen answered his question. He was cooperating willingly. That was a first.

"Hm, I suppose I f...feel the same way about you," Heng replied after a moment. It was reassuring to know that someone he was currently holding didn't hate him. He can now rule out the idea that Sen wanted him dead.

(It was a thought that was in his head. It had been for a while. Albeit it was a very small thought, one he barely treated seriously).

"...But I've never hated you," he tacked on. He coughed awkwardly. Heng didn't comment on Sen's apparent hatred on men. He thought as much anyways.

He sat in silence again. The wind was dying down, for sure, but the rain continued to, for lack of a better description, slam against the cellar door and the er.. the roof of the cellar? That sounded weird.

Maybe he was sleepy. The cold and the warmth (they were getting warmer, and Heng was also very sure that he does indeed have a fever) and the darkness made for good sleeping conditions. He shifted. The wetness said no to sleeping. Actually, logic said no to sleeping. Weren't people in movies always yelling to stay awake? Stay with me now. Stay with me.

"...Ask me a question," he said into the darkness.

Heng's eyes fluttered open. But not in the nice, soft, yogurt commercial looking way. More in the "it's 4AM and my dog barfed in my room and the smell penetrated my dreams" kind of way. Not that Sen's question was comparable to dog barf. Really only Sen could come up with an analogy as mean as that.

Heng shifted again to a more comfortable position (he was sliding down a bit, and that was making his neck all weird). He was surprised that Sen bothered to respond. He also thought that maybe Sen had fallen asleep.

And even if Sen did as he was asked, Heng thought that for sure it'd be a sarcastic question, something throwaway, something almost rhetoric in nature. 

He wasn't expecting this.


    "...What did you mean by that?"


For a long time he remained silent. He swallowed once in that silence, maybe moved his free hand to comb through his hair, pushing it back. He looked the other way, down at the ground. 

"I.. don't know uh, how much you know about Chinese history," he started, words careful and slow. "Before the first unified dynasty of China uh... Qin Dynasty. Before that...." Heng licked his lips. He didn't have the energy to retell all the history. It was a very complicated matter. Sen would get bored of it anyways.

"China was broken up into seven states. They er, they were always at war with each other," he sighed, still looking at the ground. "I was born near the uh.. the end of that period. In the state of Qi. We were one of the strongest states. I grew up with stories of military valor and distinctions in battle. Protecting the state, protecting our home, our people, serving our King to our fullest capabilities. That's what honour was," he continued, "That's what every little boy dreamed of." He lifted his hand, though he couldn't see it well, turning it.

"I couldn't wait for my conscription to arrive. Qi was declining. I wanted so much to prove my mettle. Me and my brothers, two of them, both younger than I, we left our village and," he closed his fingers into a fist.

"They died before I did. And I couldn't die. The Gods wouldn't let me," he smiled as he put his hand back down, "They even made me a Captain. What a mockery." He took a shuddering breath. "And when I finally died..." he brought his fingers up, gently tracing the scar that ran down it. It had split his head open, it did. "The Gods still won't let me rest," he finished quietly. 

And how easily Sen told away the source of all of Heng's woes. There weren't many admirable things about Sen. Not to Heng. This, however.. this ability to shrug off everything.... Heng found it obnoxious. He did.

But in this instance, Heng found it admirable. It was something that Heng's never possessed, not in the way that Sen did.
... It was still obnoxious though.

"You've never been war," he chuckled quietly. He wasn't looking to start a fight, it was just an observation. "But that is good."

He put his head against the wall, taking a deep breath to see how much it hu- okay. Okay no more deep breaths.

"I've been an apprentice for a good 2000 years," he replied. Saying it almost felt surreal. Now he did feel old. He might be a bit more self conscious about Sen's jabs at his age from now on. Maybe. "Perhaps you should speak to me like someone with seniority, young one," he tried for a.. a joke? Could you even call that a joke? It was more like a good humoured sentence. Stop trying Heng.

"Er... that was a joke. I.. I was joking," he decided to add on hastily.

Heng yawned after Sen yawned. He rubbed his eyes, then looked over towards the stairs. The ceiling hadn't rattled in a while. He could still hear the rain, but it was much more subdued now. They won't drown. Whoopee. How long have they been here for? Heng was really hungry. His stomach grumbled quietly, on cue.

"I'll just.. do whatever work is er, handed to me. I do do a lot but.. this is alright," he licked his lips again. It's alright. He stopped counting the centuries long ago. Whether this was a test or a punishment hasn't mattered since then. He'll just keep reaping. Until...

Heng sighed, feeling even more like an old man.

With a tired grunt, Heng drew his arm away.

"I'd prefer 'fossil'. It uh.. sounds kind of noble. I suppose," he said in a way that carried across the fact that he was rolling his eyes without him actually having to roll his eyes. Okay so jokes aren't Heng's forte, but sarcasm is still something he could manage.

"Alright, uh,. no more jokes," he agreed. He felt just as bad as people who had to listen to them while making them anyways, so no problem there.

When Sen talked of the birds, Heng nodded.

"Stay safe, try not to forget me," he said, placing his hand over his wound again. He didn't really understand what was so special about material possessions now, especially since apprentices never had to pay for anything. Sen made it clear that he had... some attachment to his now bandages? Heng should probably get a replacement coat for Sen then.